Figure 1: This image was taken from the cockpit of a top-secret U.S. Air Force, warp-speed test plane on 12 March 1997 somewhere between Mars and Jupiter in the Asteroid Belt. It seems to show Elvis Presley, the "King of Rock 'n Roll." This picture was widely circulated for weeks among professional astronomers, but has since been proven a fraud. After all, it is well known that Elvis Presley is a United Nations hitman and that he was on assignment in Iran at the time this photo was taken.

Courtesy: United Federation of Planets "The Campaign Trail" Figure 2:

Figure 2: The Campaign Ad shows Do's attempt to run for Chancellor of the United Federation of Planets on stardate 14256.3 (or Earth Year 1996). Although he lost by only a slim margin, The Media was suprised at the overwhelming support given by The Chinese Government. An investigation may be forthcoming.

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Last modified: 14 Apr 1997 01:57 PM