scientific analysis

perot in 2000
Comet Hale-Bopp: Savior of Mankind or Angel of Hell?

Figure 1: This photo was shot from the Hubble Space Telescope on 15 March 1997. It has been enhanced (considerably...) with the high-tech graphics manipulation software available to scientists here at YoYoSurf. The image displays a strange "bulge" emmanating from the comet's core. Using state-of-the-art image enhancement techniques, our scientists were able to discern the true nature of this "bulge" -- none other than H. Ross Perot. We hypothesize that Mr. Perot has been riding on comet Hale-Bopp for some time already.

Sidenote:
ross is the man

hale-bopp & hillary
Window of Opportunity

Figure 2: This diagram plots the course of comet Hale-Bopp through our Solar System. While the comet is in proximity to Planet Earth, there exists a "window of opportunity" for humans to catch a ride on the UFO in orbit around the object and to be wisked away to the next evolutionary level above human: Barney Fife.
The Homer Factor:

"Dô"

"D'oh"

Coincidence? We think NOT!

Indeed, if you look at this from the scientific standpoint, many strange "coincidences" begin to appear. Such as the unexplained "Homer Factor". Though Mr. Simpson does bear a striking resemblance to the Higher One, representatives from the Fox Network declined any comment. The air was thick with the smell of cover-up. Interestingly enough, Mr. Simpson has not been seen in public since the news broke.

© 1997 YoYoSurf. All Rights Reserved.

Last modified: 14 Apr 1997 01:57 PM